


from zero (come back to me)

by leeminho2828



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Boys Kissing, Character Death, Don't Like Don't Read, Engagement, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Past Character Death, Sad Nakamoto Yuta, Suicide, Weddings, im sorry, im sorry again, only in the flashbacks tho, sicheng died :(, this is rlly rlly sad, this wasn't meant to be this sad, yuta misses sicheng
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:47:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23388346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leeminho2828/pseuds/leeminho2828
Summary: yuta misses sicheng and wants nothing more than to be with him again.
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta
Kudos: 12





	from zero (come back to me)

a stray tear rolled down yutas face. it had been what? four? five years? yet he was still so weak. still so naive. the pain was still there, if anything it had increased since sicheng passed. the hole in his heart widened over time. he still hurt. he still cried over sicheng. of course he did. he had no reason not to, though he supposes it was a bit unhealthy and excessive after all these years. yuta was always a weak, weak man for sicheng. 

-FLASHBACK-

“sichengie.” yuta looked to sicheng, starry eyed. “mm?” sicheng absentmindedly responded, too busy drawing circles on yutas thigh. “one day, when we’re fat and old and lonely, we should get married.” yuta spoke, giggling over his words. sicheng abruptly stopped his drawing. “yuta, don’t be silly. we’re boys, mother says boys aren’t supposed to go with boys.” yuta only shrugged in response. “we can get married in a foreign country, then. somewhere that will freely allow me to show my undying love for you, my sichengie.” sicheng shook his head, moving to rest it on yutas shoulder. 

“i wouldn’t marry you, yuta. you’re weird. plus, we’re friends. friends don’t marry each other.” yuta snorted. “said no one ever.” he retorted, hand coming to play with sichengs hair. sicheng lifted his head to look yuta directly in the eyes. “said me. i’m gonna marry someone prettier and nicer than you.” sicheng stuck his tongue out. “are you calling me pretty?” of course, yutas mind wasn’t focused, and he only picked up a few things from that sentence. sicheng spluttered. “no, of course not! i think you’re ugly. veeeery ugly.” yuta could tell sicheng was lying by the way his ears turned red and he glanced everywhere but him. 

“you’re lying,” yuta stated. “you don’t think i’m ugly at all.” he teased, hands coming up to pinch at sichengs now red cheeks. “shut up, loser.”

-2-

“yuta. do you remember what you said to me all that time ago?” sicheng pondered, fiddling with yutas fingers. yuta cocked his head questioningly. “what did i say? remind me, chengie.” sicheng smiled softly, reciting the words over in his head. “you said that one day, when we’re fat and old and lonely, we should get married. you did.” he finished the sentence softly, voice trailing off. yuta smiled fondly, the memory coming back to him. “i remember. what about it?” he inquired, still letting sicheng play with his fingers. “w-well, yuta. i th-think…” he stuttered out, taking a shaky breath. “would y-you still be willing to? g-get married, that is. to me.” yuta let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

“of course, chengie. my offer still stands.”

-3-

sichengs hair fanned out behind him. yuta thought he looked like a fluffy marshmallow from this perspective. sicheng was under him, lying flat on his back on yutas bed, ethereal as always. he had a small, cheeky smile on his face as he stared adoringly at yuta. sicheng giggled, hands coming up to loop around yutas neck. now at 20 years of age, yuta couldn’t be more infatuated with sicheng. he knew he would do anything for sicheng if only he asked. sicheng mumbled something, cheeks blossoming into the pretty shade of red they always did when he was embarrassed. yuta frowned confusedly. “could you repeat that? i didn’t catch that.” sichengs cheeks somehow turned a shade darker. “i said kiss me.” he breathed. 

yuta was taken aback, but he would do anything sicheng asked of him. he leaned down, arms straining underneath his weight. yuta slotted his lips between sichengs, kissing him languidly and slowly. sichengs hands wandered as they kissed, going from yutas neck to his shoulders and back. yuta couldn’t do much more than hold himself up at this point. yuta tilted his head for better access, deepening the kiss. sicheng let out a noise of surprise as he felt yuta lick gently at his bottom lip. 

he opened his mouth willingly, letting yuta even further deepen the kiss. eventually, they had to pull back for air. yuta took one look at sichengs spit-slick lips, puffy from kissing, and immediately wanted more. sichengs chest rose up and down rapidly, his cheeks still that adorable shade of red. “i love you.” yuta breathed, diving back in for another kiss.

-4-

“congratulations!” everyone screamed. sicheng beamed, throwing his arms around yuta. the engagement ring on sichengs hand glittered in the light of the restaurant. “i’m so happy for you!” taeyong squealed, stealing yuta away from sicheng to hug him. he jumped up and down happily on the spot. “i’m gonna tell everyone!” yuta laughed at his excitement. “yongie, everyone’s already here.” taeyongs face fell. “it’s okay, just tell them again.” sicheng encouraged, back-hugging yuta. “yuta and sicheng are getting married!” taeyong yelled, excitement back at full force. 

“drinks are on us!” yuta yelled, everyone yelling back as they made their way to the nearest club.

-5-

sicheng walked down the aisle, seeing yuta waiting for him at the altar. no one else was present except for the two and the priest, not even yuta or sichengs parents. yuta smiled at him, eyes filling with tears. “hi.” sicheng breathed out upon reaching yuta at the altar. yuta giggled, wiping at sichengs eyes to get rid of the tears that fell. “hi.” he whispered back. they giggled together, whispering continuously throughout the priests ment. it was then time for vows.

yuta cleared his throat, hands fumbling around in the pocket of his sweats. sicheng and he had decided to dress down for the wedding, seeing as no one else was going to be there. yuta pulled a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket, unfolding it. “sicheng. dong sicheng.” he smiled brightly, another tear rolling down his face. god, he was so in love. “i remember when i first asked you to marry me, lying on my bed when we were twelve. you refused so adamantly at the time, saying that your mother thought it wrong for boys to marry boys. she was wrong, wasn’t she? told you so.” sicheng let out a watery giggle. “and our first kiss? that was only a few years ago. again, like most iconic moments in this relationship, this happened on my bed. when i first told you i love you. your cheeks were so red, love.” 

sicheng rolled his eyes. yuta had always told him how cute his cheeks are. “we’ve been together for so many years now, and not once has my love for you wavered.” sicheng sniffled as yuta spoke. “my chengie, my sunshine, my love. i can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.” sicheng sobbed at that, burying his face in yutas shoulder. “shh, it’s alright. you still have to do your vows now chengie.” sicheng nodded against his shoulder, sniffling again. “i didn’t write them down, though, so here goes.” yuta nodded encouragingly to signify him to continue. “yuta, you already know this, but i love you. i love you so, so much. i promise to protect you from any harm. i promise to save you from any dangers the world may throw your way. remember when we were seven and you scraped your knee when we were playing soccer? i was there to patch it up for you.” yuta scrunched his nose up. “chengie, you wouldn’t even kiss it better for me. bad example.” he whined. 

sicheng rolled his eyes, smiling. “okay, you big baby.” sicheng thought for a moment more. “ah! remember when that stray cat scratched you?” yuta winced, though he supposes it was his fault for trying to pat it. “i kissed it better for you. i promise that no matter what we go through, i’ll always be there for you. i’ll always patch you up, even if you have thirty-seven stab wounds. i’ll kiss each and every one better.” it was yutas turn to start crying. sicheng smiled brightly. “i, too, can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.” yuta lifted his head, fanning at his eyes. “however short that time may be.” yuta didn’t quite hear that last part. 

-6-

“y-yuta. i need to tell you something.” yuta looked up from his desk, eyes heavy from all the work he had been doing prior. his face softened upon seeing sicheng there, eyes red and puffy from crying. “hey, you know you can tell me anything. what is it?” he encouraged. sichengs eyes filled with a fresh wave of tears. “i’m— i’m dying, yuta.” yuta stood up from his desk, walking to sicheng. “you’re dying? how? since when?” yuta questioned, absolutely hating seeing his baby in pain. “i have c-cancer, yuta.” he gasped out. “oh, chengie. what stage?” yuta asked, chest constricting. “i’m so s-sorry i didn’t tell you before-” he took another shuddering breath. “-before it was too late.” yutas eyes filled with tears. “what do you mean, too late?” sicheng cried into yutas shoulder. “i’m at stage f-four, but i didn’t want to tell you because i was scared. i was so, so scared. i’m still scared, even now.” 

“chengie, baby, we’ll get through this together. we will.” yuta said, wrapping his arms around sichengs trembling frame. they wouldn’t get through this, sicheng knew, but he chose to keep his mouth shut.

-7-

the casket was brought into the room, yuta bearing some of its weight. not that it was heavy, of course. sicheng had always been lighter than a feather. especially in the months leading up to… this. yuta couldn’t even say that sicheng was gone, that made it all too real. they set the casket down on the marble pedestal at the forefront of the room, yuta standing next to it, refusing to leave his side. “we are gathered here to celebrate the life of dong sicheng. you may be seated.” 

still, yuta refused to leave his side.

-END OF FLASHBACKS-

and that brings us to present day. yuta was a good four months behind on his rent and was soon to be evicted. it didn’t matter to him. he was surrounded by countless amounts of empty alcohol bottles and various amounts of trash. he was terribly, terribly underweight. it didn’t matter to him. he had covered himself in sichengs clothes as well, choosing to sleep in them instead of his own. he had barely left this spot since sicheng died. it was sichengs favourite spot to sit in. yuta abruptly rose from the spot, muscles aching. he needed to be with sicheng again, no matter the cost. he walked sluggishly to the balcony, looking over the edge at the cars and people down there, made smaller from distance. was yuta really going to do this? 

yuta glanced down again and decided that yes, he was. he grasped the railing, pulling himself up and letting himself dangle off the edge, hanging by only one hand. he slowly let himself slip, people below him realising what was going on. it was chaos. his fingers ever so slowly slipped from the railing. even if he wanted to, he didn’t have the strength to pull himself up. he looked below him again, smiling sadly. one by one, his fingers detached themselves from the railing. 

then, he fell.

**Author's Note:**

> im. so sorry. for this.


End file.
